Written on September 14th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 12:09 am by Darren Rowse
Communication Skills for Bloggers
Tangent Time - “To have a successful marriage you only really need two skills - communication skills and conflict resolution skills.”
This is the advice was drummed into me as a trainee celebrant learning to do pre-marriage counselling. It is a fairly idealistic sort of statement and I’m sure could be debated long and hard - however it does identify two extremely important aspects of a good marriage - or for that matter a good relationship of any kind.
I think communication skills and conflict resolution skills are vital in friendships, business partnerships, client relationships etc.
I’m also coming to see their importance in blogging and today I want to tackle the first of them - communication skills (tomorrow I’ll look at conflict resolution).
Communication Skills in Blogging
I should clarify at this point that I’m not talking about communication skills in terms of how to write effectively (I’ve covered this elsewhere and would hope bloggers have a reasonable grasp of it already). Instead, for the purposes of this post, I’m referring to relational communication skills - something that I think that even the best bloggers struggle with.
I find it a little ironic that we as bloggers (who are in the communication business) struggle with miscommunication between us so often. One just has to cast their mind back to the last comment flame war that they observed (or participated in) to find an example of it. Most niches have these all in brawls from time to time.
While in some cases - the conflict can be over ideological differences of opinions, a lot of them come down to poor communication skills.
Skills for Effective Communication
There are two main skills that I teach couples in pre marriage counselling sessions. Both are equally important and without either one a relationship suffers:
1. Assertiveness
the ability to say (or write) what you feel, think and need.
Being able to clearly put into words what you mean is one half of the equation when it comes to communication and is a real skill that needs to be learned and practices. If you can do this there is every chance that the other person/people will know what you are trying to say and will then be in a position to respond to that in a well informed manner.
A number of points are worth making under the heading of assertiveness:
- Assertiveness doesn’t equal Aggression - it’s possible to be assertive without being aggressive. My dictionary defines ‘assertive’ as ‘confident in stating your position or claim‘. One of the common problems in comment flame wars is that the confidence to state a case becomes an arrogance and the lines between arguing about the topic and attacking the person taking an opposing position become blurred.
- Reading Minds is for Dummies - I often find that when counselling couples that there is an assumption by one that the other one knows what they mean and as a result they don’t ever say what they mean. Unpack it and there’s some bizarre assumption that they can read each other’s minds - something that to my knowledge most of us have not perfected.
- The use of ‘I’ and ‘You’ Statements - A common problem in communication is slipping into making ‘You’ statements rather than ‘I’ statements. People who make ‘I’ statements take responsibility for for their messages and the tone of what they say tend to be more constructive and less accusatory. ‘You’ statements on the other often are quite accusing and attempt to shift blame. The problem with ‘You’ statements is that they don’t leave the other person with much room to manoeuvre and unless they are very controlled they will respond with their own ‘You’ statement - and the cycle continues as things degenerate into an exchanged based around personal attack.
2.Active Listening
the ability to hear what the other person is saying and being able to reflect it back to them.
Good communication is not just about what you say - but what you hear. Active listening is an essential part of the process and without it there is little chance of a constructive outcome. In my experience this is where a lot of blogging conflict comes from as I see a lot of people responding to one another who have clearly not read and understood the thoughts of the other person.
Active listening involves two main things:
- Listening attentively without interruption - obviously blogging is a different case to verbal communication - but the principle still applies. In blogging I would say that this involves fully reading the post/comments of the other person before responding (not just looking at the title and skimming the headings). I find that a lot of comments left on blogs clearly demonstrate that people don’t read full posts. At times this can be a result of poor writing, but often it’s a result of laziness of the reader.
- Being able to restate what you’ve heard the other person say - once again this is a challenge for blogging as it’s not an immediate/real time medium - however it’s important as it ensures that both parties are actually talking about the same thing or not. Actively restating what you’ve heard the other person say helps you to know what their true message is but also helps them to know how they are coming across. Often in the restating of what someone else has said a conflict can be resolved as parties realise they’re on the same page.
Once you’ve Actively listened to the other person it’s your turn to to assertively (not aggressively) say what you think, feel or need while the other person Actively listens. Usually after a round or three of this style of communication things will be resolved.
Two Way Street - it takes two to have a constructive conversation and the above process is of course much more difficult if only one party is willing to engage with it.
Having said that, we each have to take responsibility for our own actions and parts of relationships and I find that even when I’m attempting to communicate with someone who is not willing to Actively listen that doing it myself can actually go a long way to resolving an issue.
Tomorrow I’ll examine the other essential skill for relationships - Conflict Resolution.
PS: Nice post on Active Listening here.
Written on September 13th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 10:09 am by Darren Rowse
Blog Spring Cleaning
BlogHelper has put together a couple of useful posts on what to do when spring cleaning your blog. Read at total of 10 things to consider doing at Blog Spring Cleaning: 5 Baby Steps and 5 more things to do when spring cleaning your blog.
Written on September 13th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 12:09 am by Darren Rowse
9 Ways to Make Your Blog More Inclusive
Yesterday I raised the topic of exclusive blogging (and blogging cliques) - it was a post identifying a problem. Today I want to suggest 9 ways to make your blog more inclusive.
1. Be Aware of the Language You Use - every niche has it’s language that it’s experts know, use and understand and that beginners or outsiders don’t know. Acronyms are particularly difficult for outsiders to understand.
2. Consider a - sometimes you just have to use certain words that might exclude some of your readers. If this is the case you might like to consider a of some sort that you link to when you’re aware of using exclusive language. Alternatively you might like to put definitions or explanations in your posts if appropriate).
3. Mix Up the Levels at which you Write - consider mixing up the level at which you write. For example I became aware earlier in the year (through the feedback of readers) that enternetusers was becoming a little inaccessible to beginner bloggers. My response was to put together a month long series called Blogging for Beginners which covered the basics of blogging.
4. Highlight Posts for First Timers - once you’ve written some more accessible content it’s helpful to find ways of highlighting it to those who it was written for. Since writing my beginner series I added it to my menu’s at the top of this blog (with other introductory articles). This means beginners have a place to start and that hopefully in reading the posts I have there they’ll slowly move from being beginners to being people who are able to engage with the rest of my content.
5. Educate Users in Blogging (and RSS) - one of the problems that I find some users have with my blogs (on non blogging topics) is that some of them are unfamiliar with what a blog is or how to engage with it. As a result it’s necessary to educate your readers in how to use your site. You might want to write an introductory or ‘about’ post to do this that highlights your categories, your search function, your email newsletter (if you have one), your RSS feeds (and how to use them) etc.
6. Create Spaces for Different Levels of Users to form community - some sites (I’ve not seen many blogs do this) create spaces for beginners, intermediate and more advanced readers to find information and interact with each other.
7. Encourage Participation and Interactivity - the best way for someone to get over that hump of feeling like the odd one out is to get them involved. Invite interaction, respond to the comments of new people, give people a job (even a small one) and publicly acknowledge your readers and you’ll create a more inviting and accepting environment.
8. Leave Room for Other Experts - I’ve never read a blogger who has a monopoly on truth in their niche. I have read a few who THINK they do - but the reality is that as much as we know, there is always someone else that has as much, if not more, expertise in our field. Write in a way that leaves room for others to share their experiences, knowledge and ideas rather than in a difinative way which doesn’t leave room for a conversation.
9. Create a Culture of Inclusivity - as the blogger on your blog you hold considerable power. People look to you as an example of how things work on your blog. If you are aggressive in your writing and interaction with readers (in comments and in posts) you’ll probably find that your readers will similarly be aggressive. If you write in a negative tone, you’ll find readers mimicking this. If you’re inclusive, positive and interActive - I find that readers similarly take on this approach. Of course you’ll find some don’t mimic you - but your own tone and style will impact the culture of your blog.
What other strategies do you use to build inclusivity on your blog?
Written on September 12th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 12:09 pm by Darren Rowse
MyBlogLog ads AdSense Tracking
A number of readers have emailed in the last 24 hours to let me know that MyBlogLog (I previously reviewed it in it’s early days here), stats package that lets you track outbound links has added the ability to track AdSense clicks.
When you log into your stats page now you can now see how many clicks there were on different ad units (classified by ad sizes) and if you click the ‘view’ link it will show you which page on your blog the clicks have come from (and tell you how many clicks each page had).
While there are AdSense tracking scripts around that do this also - this is a very handy feature to have access to as it helps you take your AdSense earnings analysis a step beyond what channels will allow you to do and helps you identify which individual pages on your site are behind your earnings.
Now if we can just get them to start tracking Chitika, YPN and a few other ad networks….
thanks to Jon and Rob for being the first two to let me know about this.
Written on September 12th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 12:09 pm by Darren Rowse
Chitika enable Referral Links on Multiproduct eMiniMalls
Chitika have done something that I put on my wishlist to them almost 12 months ago and have made the link to Chitika in their multi product eMiniMalls an affiliate link (announcement - aff).
So now when another publisher sees your ads and clicks the link to see what ad system you’re using you make 10% of their first year’s earnings if they sign up.
This is a nice move and is a good little bonus for publishers - however I’m confused as to why they’re only doing it on their multi-product units and not their normal eMiniMalls or their shoplincs.
PS: now if we could just get AdSense to do this with their ‘Ads by Goooogle’ links!
Written on September 12th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 09:09 am by Darren Rowse
BlogHerAds Goes Live
BlogHer have taken another step in the development of their BlogHerAds ad network by going live and opening things up for others to apply to.
To this point the beta test was only available for 30 or so parenting bloggers but now it’s open to anyone to apply to join. Details on the process of applying can be found here. There’s also a PDF invitation with more details.
The specifics of what they offer are in the PDF but here’s the basics:
- Bloggers can choose a number of ad sizes
- They they paste the ad code into their blog (similar to AdSense)
- They recommend including up to three ads per page
- You can indicate if there are ads from any industry or company you don’t wish to run
- There’s no guarantee that you’ll see ads immediately - it depends upon how they are selling
- When ads are not available they rotate headlines from blogs within the network in the position
- Bloggers are paid dependent upon traffic (CPM). Bloggers seem to get 60% of revenue. In an example that they give they talk about $10 CPM - I’m not sure if this is just an example or the rate they go off
I think this is a pretty smart move for BlogHer. They’ve been building a great reputation and brand and it seems like a logical next move. Definitely one to watch.
found via Wendy
Written on September 12th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 12:09 am by Darren Rowse
Cliquey Blogging - Breaking Down Exclusivity in Blogging
Do you know what it feels like to be the only one in a crowd that doesn’t fit in? Perhaps some of your blog’s readers feel this way too….
Tangent Time - Seeing Gomez
Earlier this month I went to see Gomez perform at the Hi-Fi bar in Melbourne. I wasn’t planning on heading into it, but at the last minute a mate rang and asked me if I wanted a free ticket.
I said yes straight away - for starters I know a few Gomez songs and like them and secondly… it was a free ticket to a sold out show and I’m always up for a freebie!
As I say, I know a few Gomez songs, but would never have called myself a big fan.
This hit home to me a couple of songs into their set when I looked around at the audience of 1000 and saw virtually every other person in the room with their hands in the air, singing screaming along with every word.
These were fanatical fans - they loved Gomez. Not only did they know every word, they knew what song was being played the instant a chord was played, they got all the in jokes that the band said and they were all decked out in Gomez gear.
I loved the show - but as it went on I increasingly felt like something of an impostor - I didn’t fit in and I knew it.
As I drove home from the show in the early hours of he morning (smelling like smoke and with ringing ears) I reflected a little on how I felt as ‘the odd one out’ at the show. It struck me that it’s not an uncommon feeling.
The Odd One Out
“One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?”
Almost any place that people gather together around a common interest or activity something happens between them that forms them into some type of community.
The community might be a temporary or transient one (like a concert where fans from around a city gather) or it might be a permanent one (like a club or church where the same people come every week) but as the community forms a number of things happen including the development of a common language, the emergence of symbols with meaning and a shared memory of experiences that also have meaning to those in the community.
These things are wonderful to be a part of - but to those on the outer they highlight the fact that they don’t belong (I’m sure those with a clue or two about sociology could explain it a lot better than I can).
Exclusive Blogging
Blogs can be one such place where community forms and these things happen.
I’ve written numerous times about building community and interactivity on a blog - but it struck me last night that for every blog reader that feels a part of a blog’s community that there must be a reader (or more…. or less) that feels on the outer for one reason or another.
Another way of putting it might be to say that Blogs can be great at bringing people together to form community and belonging - but that they can also be quite cliquey.
On one level I don’t have a problem with this - I think it’s valid for people to gather together with other people like them to speak in their language, to share similar experiences, passions and interests however on the other hand I’m interested in building communities with fuzzy and open edges that are accessible to newcomers also.
Over the past four years I’ve been a part of a variety of niches of blogging (Christian blogs, blogs about blogging, tech blogs etc) and they’ve all struggled with the exclusivity thing. I see it largely happening in two main ways:
1. Within a Niche - I suspect that it’s becoming increasingly difficult for new bloggers to carve out a space for themselves in their niche. Four years ago when I started blogging (and I was a latecomer to the scene) it was a lot easier to start a blog and become accepted by other bloggers on the same topic. These days things have become more competitive and the market has become more crowded (and as it has it’s become more difficult to keep track of everyone). There’s regular talk of the exclusivity of the ‘A-list’ of bloggers - but I suspect that it happens not only at the highest levels but also within different niches.
2. Within Blogs - Once a blog’s been running for a period of time there is potential for it to slowly become a little cliquey also. You gradually see the same names popping up comments each day and a little community emerging. This is not a bad thing - but for an outsider it can feel exclusive and difficult to break into.
I’m not sure I’ve got the answer on how to make a blog (or a niche) more open and welcoming but in tomorrow’s post I’d like to suggest a number of strategies that might work - particularly on an individual blog level.
In the mean time - I’d like to hear people’s experiences of blogs and blogging - especially newcomers to the medium. Have you felt excluded from a niche or individual blogs?
I’m not wanting to start a ‘bitchy’ thread about it - but am interested to hear if people have felt on the outer or not.
I’m also interested to hear from more established bloggers on how they work against exclusivity in their blog and blog’s niche.
Written on September 11th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 11:09 pm by Darren Rowse
Last Call for enternetusers Prizes
Late last week I announced that I was looking for some prizes for my next group writing project. Due to the timing of the post calling for them I’ve had feedback that a number of people didn’t get enough notice to put a pitch together. So I’ll extend the deadline for submissions by 24 hours. So at 5pm tomorrow (Tuesday - Melbourne time) I’ll stop taking submissions for prizes.
If you’d like to pitch an idea please do so after reading the following full post at Prizes Needed - Sponsor enternetusers’s Next Group Writing Project
Thanks to all those who’ve sent in ideas - once again there are some great ones (although no more cash prizes please! Never thought I’d hear myself saying that!).
Written on September 10th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 11:09 am by Darren Rowse
Choosing a Niche for Your Information Product (or Blog)
Brian’s released a new video over at Tubetorial in his 7 Steps to Creating and Selling Niche Information Products series. This one is on working out what to make your product about.
I like Brian’s approach because he doesn’t go in for the hype that surrounds a lot of information products and emphasizes that you need to produce something that is based upon the need of the customer.
While this is pretty basic business sense I think it’s worth stating over and over again both when thinking about information products but also when it comes to blogging.
Your blog will never be successful unless you’re writing about something that customers need or want.
He then goes on to share some ways to come up with ideas for info products (which can again be applied to choosing a topic for a blog). His main points:
- Improve on an existing topic
- Solve a New Problem
- Share existing expertise
He expands upon each in the video.
More on choosing a blog topic here (and here).
Written on September 9th, surf Active Apparel website 1cecilia392 zone.at 09:09 pm by Darren Rowse
Lesson for the day - Renew Your Domain Name
Don’t let your domain names expire.
Easy to do - especially if you’re changing your email addresses around.
PS: I’ve been going with 10 year domain registrations recently to help with this - but also because a patent released by Google last year indicated that they look at length of domain registration when ranking a domain. I’m not sure what weight it has - but it all adds up (plus it means I only have to embarrassingly explain why I didn’t renew it every decade instead of every year or two)
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